202208270311 Up too late

An acute awareness of the passage of time and the fleeting nature of life. A deep nostalgia for every day as it passes. The painful beauty that is the human experience. A visceral understanding of the love that transcends reality for the love of your life sleeping next to you and the other love of your life snuggled in her crib with her wubba, Barbara, lovey, and blanket. All the dreams that stack up and likely won’t happen, but being ok with that because of the profound happiness in the banality of a normal life with your family. All the lives you aren’t, weren’t, and won’t be. All the other lives that were, are, and will be that aren’t you. Sonder. But deep, still, calm peace in spite of it. Happiness.

A glimpse into deep time, seeing the future of who I am and who my family is and how we’ve built and lived our lives. Living in a future moment where they’re grown.